Let's get real here. We don't live in a black and white world. We live in a world where grey rules reality. However, and unfortunately, the second anything that remotely comes into consideration in which race could possibly be a factor, a statement that could possibly misconstrued as racist, that statement is jumped on. People are automatically attacked and destroyed. 

I have become obsessed with learning how to whistle with your fingers. Or whistle without your fingers but that crazy powerful "YO LISTEN UP" whistle. I have even gone as far as going to ehow.com and looking it up. Let me tell you, their directions don't help.

I have a screen play that I'm a good 40 pages into sitting on my hard drive that I am simply dying to finish! This weekend especially I've been thinking about it (I may work on it tonight!) and there are two more that I want to start it just comes down to me being structured enough to sit down and do it. 

When I was 16 I was in the second year of suffering from mind numbing, extremely debilitating head aches that kept me out of schools for days, sometimes a good week at a time. After exhausting a lot of options, my doctor felt that it was wise for me to go see a neurologist. Being 16 this wasn't exactly a "Oh Joy" moment. And when that doctor then suggested that, since he couldn't see anything particularly wrong with me (from the outside) he felt that he should look at me, from the inside. Just in case I had a brain tumor.

I began my support for Hillary Clinton from the moment I found out that there was an inkling that she may be running for president. Everyone around me, especially those who know me well and know that I fight strongly for women, claimed that I was doing so simply "because she's a woman". 

I hate those applications that ask you to describe yourself in three words etc. Why can't you just meet me and make your own assesment? Or the applications that ask you to "tell us a little bit about yourself". I've been around for 21 years, there's been a lot that has happened that has made me me. Do you really want the story of how I ran in to the kitchen table playing tag in my house with my brother and turned around to see if he was there only to run into the kitchen table...with my eye? Or the story of why I've had two knee surgeries in two years? I didn't think so. What you really want to know is what about me makes me worthy of whatever I'm applying for. Just talk to me and I'll tell you. OR you can just talk to me and find out if you want me to be a part of your team.

The bottom line is I hate hate HATE having to describe myself to people who have never met me. Cause lets face it. If you've never met me, I could say I was a 6'5" glamazon from Romania who spoke five languages, and was married. And you'd have to believe me.

I was taught one very important rule.

Just because it's written down and a whole bunch of people believe in it, doesn't make it right.

I'm very Catholic and I believe in my religion but I don't agree with a lot of the things that many Catholics follow. I'm a strong willed female. And *GIANT GASP* I feel I have the right to be my own person and have my own rights.

If I was a "true Catholic" I'd be quite and not do have the things I do. But pffffft! It's way more fun acting this way.

It's pretty chilly here in LA (for LA standards) but its really sunny out. It reminds me of those days we have back in ol' New Hampshire this time of the year when it's so crazy cold that you have to wear 20 million layers (long johns, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, really heavy winter coat, gloves, hat, scarf, boots, pants) and even though it looks really pretty out, its COLD AS HELL! And because it's so sunny, the snow is really reflective (and usually has a layer of ice on top o it at this point) and so you're freezing as you walk around the play group but you can't really do anything because the snow is frozen. And you don't want to swing and do anything because that causes wind which only makes it colder. So you all just stand together, in the sun, talking and trying to make yourself warmer. (Or when we were younger, lying on the ground because we knew that heat rises and we were trying to catch the heat before it left the ground :P )

When it comes to the dreams you have at night, it depends on what kind of dream I had. If it was a weird, funky, why the hell did I have that(?!) dream, I often tell my best friend, Chelsea. Her and I lived together for three years and we used to wake up, look at each other and go "I just had the WEIRDEST dream!". I actually just had one the other night in which she was involved (her and I no longer live together) and I had to tell her the moment her and I spoke. I was truly bizarre. 

When I joined this site, I did so solely because I was joining the scholarship pod. I needed (hell, I still need) money to finish college with and I found the site on another site for scholarships and I liked the essay questions. I liked the way it made me think. I didn’t really think I’d come back to the site much. Of course, little did I know this site would become a place where I would feel comfortable saying things I could barely say to my closest friends (and some things I would never say to my closest friends). I now find myself coming here everyday (more and more the longer I am a member of the site), answering questions and reflections, putting up my own blogs (something I never thought I’d do, become a regular blogger), filter through the books to find my favorite or see what others are reading to get new ideas and find new pods to be a part of. I haven’t really found my true part of this site yet. I don’t have “friends” on this site yet, or rather not many (I consider WonderAlli a friend, but she found me) and I don’t think I really take advantage of all the things the site has to offer.

I’ve read posts by others who are frightened that the new site look is ruining Zaadz. That they are frightened that their work will be stolen, that things will change. I can’t seem to join arguments like that. I haven’t been a member very long (7 months) and I just plain love this site. Every day the Q & Rs make me think about things that I would never have thought about before. They give me an insight to other people who I may never meet but love the way they think either way.

I’m in my very last semester in college, and I am terrified of what lies beyond. I’m entering an industry that, at the moment, is in the middle of a three month long stand still. Everyday I pray that the Producer’s Guild will old and the WGA will end their strike allowing everyone to go back to work, and those of us graduating from film school this year, hope that there will be jobs for us. I became a part of this website because I needed the money to finish school. While I still desperately hope that I am a recipient of that scholarship, I couldn’t be more thankful of having found this site, if only because each day I have a place to vent my feelings, find others who love the same things I do, and have a place where one hour a day I can avoid my homework.