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friendship
March 2008 
Unrequited
Posted on Jan 11th, 2008
by 
Yogi
Yogi
For some time now, I have realized that I am in love with my best friend. Which is quite a feat for me to admit.
I've known him for four years. He came into my life when I needed someone to be there and back me up when things were starting to turn horrible. He was someone I could turn to and simply just be. He was there for me when others weren't. When my three year relationship fell apart he was the first person I turned to. I knew that he would be there for me no matter what. And when I returned to the east coast, destroyed by a man who I had trusted for so long, he was standing there, with a bottle of vodka, just as I had requested.
I stood by and watched him go through two relationships with the same girl, all while getting over my own horrible break up. I didn't see him as anything but my friend then. He was there for me when I needed someone and when his relationship fell apart, twice, I tried to be there for him as much as he had been there for me.
It wasn't until I finally stopped thinking about my ex and started thinking about my best friend that I realized, not only was I over my last relationship but I was falling in love with my best friend.
He's funny, smart and gives me lip right back when I give it to him. He doesn't take my crap and yet lets me vent and blame him for things that he could never have done. He's perfect in every aspect accept one. He lives 3400 miles away from where I do now.
A year after meeting him, I transfered schools, from New England to California. He eventually graduated and this year I will too. While he's staying in New England (Mass) I'm staying in California. And the last thing I want to do is be in a long distance relationship. Especially when I'm never moving back to the East Coast, and he isn't exactly a 'change' kind of guy.
I've done the long distance thing. I got my heart broken because of it. I can't imagine finally being with him, and yet not being with him. He's everything I want in a man. He's the form I hold every other guy up to. Yet if it means, never getting hurt, I'd rather stay friends, never telling him how I feel. I'd rather never tell him than risk losing him.
So for now, I'll stand by, holding every one up against him and hopefully one day I'll stop thinking about him because someone else has fallen into my life.
Access: Public
Been here! (well, haven't we all?)
I donno though, sometimes I think love shouldn't have to be so tragic. And why worry about it? Love comes in so many forms. You should just be happy theres someone in your life who's so important. Don't let “what he is” in your life eat at you. Just appreciate your friendship.
It sounds like you want a partner so bad your looking for the wrong guys. You fall inlove with your friend once you realise your over your ex and you don't plan on getting over your friend until you find someone new.
If I were you (and like I said, I kinda have been you, metaphorically speaking) I'd learn to be more independent. Love the company of yourself so much that you don't really “need” anybody to make your life feel complete. Once you're a complete person, you'll also attract other people who feel complete with themselves, and your relationships will be a lot more fulfilling
(hehe I think anyway! I'm still pretty young) ;)
good luck
and congradulations!