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March 2008 
Age 16 - My very first MRI
Posted on Feb 11th, 2008
by 
Yogi
Yogi
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 10, 2008:
When I was 16 I was in the second year of suffering from mind numbing, extremely debilitating head aches that kept me out of schools for days, sometimes a good week at a time. After exhausting a lot of options, my doctor felt that it was wise for me to go see a neurologist. Being 16 this wasn't exactly a "Oh Joy" moment. And when that doctor then suggested that, since he couldn't see anything particularly wrong with me (from the outside) he felt that he should look at me, from the inside. Just in case I had a brain tumor.
I then had to sit, for three days, before I got the actual test done, and then sit for another week before the results came back.
While I was lucky enough to not have a brain tumor (just a small form of epilepsy which is easily treatable), it was the most out of control I had ever felt. I had no control over anything. I had no control over the results, over when I could go to the doctors, over anything. I was 16 and I was terrified. I had no idea what was going to happen to me and I was shaking uncontrollably for days not knowing what was going to happen to me. I couldn't think straight, see straight, I could barely sit still. All I knew was that I wanted a positive answer from the doctor, but I didn't know if I wanted that answer to be "we found nothing" or "we found something, here is why you get headaches".
It was the worst feeling ever. Partly because I was so young and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know how to talk to my parents about things and I didn't know how to handle it on my own. I brooded a lot. Wrote about it (unfortunately this was before blogging was so fabulously easy, largely popular and way before I found Zaadz (by about 5 years)). I was overcome by an uncontrollable urge to both fling myself out a window and hid in a closet all the same.
I pray each day that not only do I never feel that way, but that no one else feels that way either.
Access: Public
Dearest Yogi..
What a horrible experience for one so young at the time! I too have had a very similar scenario which ended with the same trip to the neuroligist,MRI, etc. It was hard for me and I was in my 40's at the time. I am sure you are a strong person to have come through it with such grace, even if it didn't feel very graceful at the time. Cheers and best of health to you in the future! PE